By Pastor Charles Abraham
“Love does not seek its own.” — 1 Corinthians 13:5
In my last post, we explored the rich meaning behind the Hebrew word for love—Ahava—and discovered that its root word hav means to give. That simple revelation shifted everything. Real love, God’s love, isn’t about taking—it’s about giving. It’s not selfish. It’s not demanding. It’s deeply, profoundly selfless.
That alone is a big enough truth to build your life on.
But today, I want to go a little deeper. And I want to speak directly to the men.
Men, You’ve Been Given the Assignment to Love
Husbands. Fathers. Brothers. Friends.
This isn’t to say women aren’t called to love—we all are. But if we read Scripture carefully, it becomes clear that God gives men a unique responsibility: to lead with love.
In Ephesians 5, Paul writes:
“Be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”
(Ephesians 5:1–2 NKJV)
This call to imitate Christ is for everyone. But a few verses later, Paul zooms in:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…”
(Ephesians 5:25 NKJV)
He goes on to say that husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies. Just as Christ nourishes and cherishes the Church, so should a husband love his wife—with care, attention, devotion, and sacrifice.
Loving Means Giving—Not Just Things, But Yourself
Let’s be honest—this is a high bar. We’re not talking about romantic gestures alone. We’re talking about sacrificial love. That kind of love gives consistently and completely—not just material things, but time, presence, patience, tenderness, and leadership.
And here’s a sobering truth:
A stingy man will always struggle to love well.
I don’t just mean financially. A man who’s tight-fisted with his affection, his words, his listening, his vulnerability—he won’t be able to reflect the heart of God. Why? Because love gives. It doesn’t clutch. It opens.
Ladies, a quick word to you:
If you’re in a relationship with someone who is consistently selfish or self-centered, it may be a sign that love is not yet truly formed in him. Love must give to grow.
A Picture of Love from The Passion Translation
Let me share how The Passion Translation puts it:
“And to the husbands, you are to demonstrate love for your wives with the same tender devotion that Christ demonstrated to us, his bride. For he died for us, sacrificing himself to make us holy and pure, cleansing us through the showering of the pure water of the Word of God… So every married man should be gracious to his wife just as he is gracious to himself.”
(Ephesians 5:25–33 TPT)
The assignment is clear:
If you’re going to love, you must give.
And not just occasionally, but consistently. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
Can We Do This? Yes—By the Grace of God
Is this challenging? Of course.
But is it possible? Yes.
Not in our own strength, but by the grace of God. He gives us His Spirit to help us grow in love, to renew our hearts, and to lead our homes with compassion and courage.
So, men—let’s lead by loving. Let’s love our wives, our children, our friends, and even our enemies with the generous, open-hearted love of Christ.
Be the first to forgive.
Be the first to listen.
Be the first to give.
Let’s start today.
A Prayer for Loving Like Christ
Dear Father,
Thank You for showing us what real love looks like through Jesus. Teach us to walk in that kind of love—not a love that takes, but one that gives freely and fully.
Lord, especially for us men, help us carry this mantle of love with humility and joy. Make us generous in spirit, selfless in action, and tender in heart. Let our love bring healing to our homes, our marriages, and our communities.
Where we fall short, give us grace. Where we’ve been selfish, make us more like Jesus. May our lives be a sweet-smelling aroma to You, just like Christ’s love was.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Leave a Reply